21. 'A Drink Before The War' - Dennis Lehane

What praises can I sing for Dennis Lehane that I haven't already done before? I think that it's safe to say that I'm legitimately obsessed with his books at this point. A Drink Before The War serves as an introduction to two of his most beloved characters, Patrick Kenzie and Angela Gennaro, and does a magnificent job at it. His ability to develop rich and interesting characters will never cease to amaze me, to be honest. This is especially evident in the character of Kenzie, whose point of view he follows throughout the entirety of the novel. This is a man with severe problems and the truth is that sometimes you're not sure if you just want to slap him for being an idiot or cuddle him like a scared little boy...

ummm yeah. can't finish whilst on the crew computer. peace. will be done tomorrow. =)

20. 'Why We Read What We Read' - Lisa Adams & John Heath

will be written tomorrow when i can go back and reference the book again.

19. 'Her Fearful Symmetry' - Audrey Niffenegger

I've come to the conclusion that I've gotten lazy when it comes to these reviews. I used to do a pretty decent job at providing my snobby little opinions, but finishing books on trips and not wanting to drag my laptop out of its cozy little bag hasn't helped my commentary at all. I'm hoping to remedy that with a lively discussion about this... gem.

Niffenegger must have been under pressure from her publishers to put out some kind of awesome follow-up to The Time Traveler's Wife or something because it's the only excuse that I can think of that would incite her to write something that's entirely unfinished. While the premises showed potential, it quickly became apparent that nothing was really going to happen in the four hundred pages contained within. Truthfully, the book is better to look at (because I seem to have a thing for spooky trees or something) than it is to read.

The novel follows the lives of twins, Julia and Valentina Poole, who inherit a flat in London (along with a bunch of money) from their aunt (their mother's twin sister) who recently died of cancer. The only catch is that they have to live there for a year before they can do anything at all with it. While it seems like a grand adventure for Julia, Valentina is decidedly more nervous about the prospect of leaving her home for uncharted territory. She follows along, however, because that's what she's been doing her entire life. She's like a shadow of her slightly older sister and that becomes a point that is majorly stressed throughout the remainder of the story.

Shortly after arriving in London, Julia meets their quirky upstairs neighbor, Martin, who suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder. Frankly, this makes him one of the more interesting characters throughout the tale and I constantly found myself wondering what kind of eccentric things were going on in his flat while Julia & Valentina carried on with their intensely dull existences. The girls eventually meet Robert Fanshaw, a quiet and bookish middle-aged man that was once the lover of their dearly departed relation. Robert proceeds to quickly (and unbelievably) fall in love with meek little Valentina (and the feeling seems to be mutual) which just creates more tension in the twins' already tottering relationship. Did I forget to mention that their aunt is kind of just hanging around the flat as a ghost? Because she is. And she accidentally discovers that she can pull souls out of bodies (RIP Kitten) which becomes a rather large point in the apparent climax of the novel. See, Valentina has been trying to find a way to escape from her sister... and rather than grow-up and actually stand up to Julia, she thinks it's just so much easier to die and then have her soul stuffed back into her body. It seems like a brilliant idea, right? Yeah, well never trust a ghost that's kind of pissed that you're dating her boyfriend.

We're meant to believe that Elspeth (the dead aunt) tried to stuff Val back where she belonged, but somehow I sincerely doubt that. The claim was made that Valentina just wasn't strong enough, but that doesn't explain how Kitten managed to come back from the grave once and she was just a cat for goodness sake. Please tell me how a person couldn't figure it out? I wish that were the low point of the book, but no. I think that comes in the form of discovering that Elspeth is really Edwina and the twin's mother. It was all just incredibly confusing and involved switching lives and all sorts of other bullshit that was just too tiresome to follow. Long story short, the twin's mother was the one that really died, but they never actually find that out. Only Robert and their father, Jack Poole, are privy to this super-secret knowledge. Fucking whatever, dude. I quit.

So, anyway, Elspeth (who is really Edie) takes over Valentina's body and gets herself knocked up with Robert's baby... then proceeds to drag him out to Sussex where she thinks that they'll live happily-ever-after. Val has become a ghost that spends all her time in the flat with Julia and the ghost of Kitten. So much for getting away from her sister, right? Well, she might not have been considered to be as clever as her dearly departed aunt (mother), but she definitely wins as a ghost since she actually finds a way to get the hell out of that little trap via her sister's mouth. She and Kitten meet some other ghosts, shrink, and go flying off on crows. Apparently that makes her happy. Good for you, weird little dead girl. Since... you know... you're never getting your body back and all.

Julia proceeds to start possibly dating Martin's son, Theo, while the best character in the book heads off to Amsterdam to go win back his wife, Marijke, who got the hell out of dodge when she finally couldn't take his intense OCD shit anymore. I'm glad Martin got away from the building and all it's drama... I really am. He was probably the most normal (and believable) character in the whole damned book. If anyone deserved a happy ending it was him for being so awesome.

So, when they make this into a movie... which they inevitably will since we all know the state of affairs in Hollywood these days... I think Eric Bana needs to be involved. I don't care if he plays Robert or Martin... as long as he's in there... since he's already done one Niffenegger adaptation. Another can't really hurt his career, right? I just want something pretty to look at if one of my roommates plans to subject me to this crap... which they will because most of them are suckers for shitty movies. Maybe Robert. I think he'd look kind of sexy with glasses and stalking through cemeteries. My pick for the twins? Dakota Fanning... since they're already described as looking like they're twelve anyway. At least it'd be a decent cast.

Rating: 2.5/5

18. 'The Lost Symbol' - Dan Brown

Oh Dan, you've done it again. Admittedly, I wasn't overly impressed with The Da Vinci Code as a follow-up to Angels & Demons, which I loved immediately, but such is life. The Lost Symbol more or less makes up for that, though. Mind you, that doesn't mean that it was perfect. It's so rare that I find a book that I could ever stick with that classification, but our man here has made one that certainly can hold it's own against any potential literary scrutiny. Maybe it doesn't hurt that I'm more or less in love with Robert Langdon and his nerdy charm (though in my world he looks decidedly less like Tom Hanks and more like Eric Bana, but that's beside the point, really). I'm a sucker for reading books about people far smarter than I could ever be.

At any rate, I sometimes have no problem going off on tangents about the plot that the novels I read follow, but in this case I'm going to abstain. The truth is that his books aren't ones that I'd like to ruin for anyone that might stumble upon this as they're far more popular than the fare I typical devour and review on here. I will say that there was one very glaring plot point that was far more predictable than I like (see the Deliverance Dane review for more rants on that subject), but Brown made up for it with richly developed characters and interesting insight into some of our nation's capitol's most beloved landmarks. I've got to give him credit. I was thinking of where to go on my next little mini-vacation and good old Dan made it very easy for me. After reading about all the fantastic things to see in Washington D.C., I've opted to go there again in the very near future... as in next weekend. I almost feel as if I should have read the book there... it could have served almost as a walking tour of the city.

So yeah, Brown writes another winner. Langdon is still awesome enough to be a gripping central character even if he is getting old and the new arrivals to the scene are intriguing enough to not leave you bored and wishing for a few more returning cast members. I can guarantee I'll be thinking of my version of him (click here if you need a visual aid) as I wander by the Washington Monument next Monday. Sorry to disappoint when it comes to this review, but this is a book I think you'd be better off reading for yourself.

P.S. There's no need to read the prior two Langdon adventures to understand this one. They're both barely referenced and point to nothing that cannot be easily Googled if desired.

Rating: 4/5

17. 'The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane' - Katherine Howe

Not going to lie... I grabbed this at the library on a whim. I already had a handful on me but the book jacket just made the novel look appealing and I had to have it. I managed to devour it rather quickly, though it wasn't necessarily because it was just that fantastic. The truth is that Howe's debut novel is actually kind of predictable which is one thing that I absolutely tend to detest about literature. I'd rather have a movie be that brand of disappointing than a novel. After all, I did just invest a good portion of a weekend (or more) on hundreds of pages... is it wrong to want to be satisfied?

Don't get me wrong, the book did have its good points. Several of the characters were actually very engaging and I was incredibly fond of Grace Goodwin, the unseen but oft consulted mother of the main character. Maybe I just like hippie throwbacks and wish that it was possible for me to live that kind of lifestyle at the moment. Who can really say? She was honestly a bit more intriguing than Connie herself, though perhaps it's because less is known about her than the main character. I like the degree of mystery involved, I suppose.

The problem that I did have with the book, aside from a lackluster ending, was simply that it didn't exactly take a brain surgeon (or more than a quarter of the novel) to realize that there was going to be a very important connection to the seemingly random key and slip of paper that Connie finds upon perusing her grandmother's bookshelves for the first time to the girl doing the exploring. I mean, really? Finding it in the house on like... day one... doesn't make that entire situation blatantly obvious or anything. I guess I would have liked to have been forced to think a little bit more. I like plots with a bit more intricacy than Howe's manages to possess. I'm not sorry that I read it. I like the idea that perhaps the fear of magic being performed in Salem back in the day actually had a hint of reality to it, but there were better directions the plot could have taken to have gotten us to a memorable conclusion... because frankly, there wasn't much of one. It's only been a week and a half since I read it and already it's a little bit faded. Alas. I guess I really am getting old.

Rating: 3/5

16. 'Coronado' - Dennis Lehane

I find it incredibly difficult to be disappointed with anything that Dennis Lehane writes. I'm not going to lie and say that I've read all of his books yet because that would be pointless. The truth is that I haven't... have only finished two... but if the rest are anything like the ones that I HAVE sat through, they're nothing short of fantastic views into the lives of people that genuinely could exist somewhere in the world. Coronado, a group of short stories, could not lose my attention no matter how many outside forces attempted work against me in the short time that I read it. I found myself wanting to get done work on my flights as quickly as possible just to devour the next story in line because they each provided little pictures into some of the darkest moments of the characters' lives.

There is nothing happy about this book. Lehane talks a lot about hope from the various points-of-view of the characters, but the truth is that most have nothing left to hope for. Their loves are gone or their lives as they knew it are entirely over. It starts with the tragedy of Elgin Bern and the war and death that would tear all the women he loved (or might have) away from him. From there the novel moved on through several other people and tragedies until it reached Coronado, a play that elaborates on the lives of two characters in Until Gwen and throws a few others into the mix. It, of course, is equally as tragic. This is not the kind of novel that you read to feel good about yourself or your life. It's the kind that shows you just how horrible people can be to each other and that there is nothing that some people won't do to get what they want. It's the truth about humanity... cold and bitter, but beautifully written in a way that few can master.

It's unlikely that I'll ever have much to say that's not even remotely positive about Lehane's writing. He truly has become one of my favorite authors already and I'm looking forward to starting the Kenzie/Gennaro series when I pick up the first one from the library tomorrow. I'll keep the blog posted on how much I adore this man and his works... I promise.

Rating: 4/5

15. 'The Trials of the Honorable F. Darcy' - Sara Angelini

So, one day a tiny brunette walks into the library and stumbles around with her arms laden with books. Overflowing would perhaps be the best term for it. Her eyes are caught by a brightly colored book on a table by the library desk... because she's kind of like a ferret... in that she's attracted to shiny things anyway... and she sees that there's a book claiming to be a modern Pride & Prejudice sitting on the stand. Though she feels like a horrendous nerd, she rushes over and snatches up a copy because Jane Austen might just be one of her favorite authors ever. She starts the book while flying around the better part of the northeastern United States only to discover that she's basically picked up a porn novel. Yes, she's just read Snuff, but this is something else entirely. Snuff, for being about the porn industry, didn't go into nearly as many details as this waste of trees. Yeah, that's right... she said it. WASTE OF TREES.

All right, so I guess my little picture of a day in the life of Kristi wasn't entirely necessary... or that interesting... but to say that I wasn't pleased to discover that the book I had invested several hours in turned out to be much less than I expected. The beginning showed promise. Had it not, I would have stopped reading it a lot sooner than when I finally considered that option. The premises... Darcy as a judge and Lizzy Bennett as a lawyer was an interesting way to modernize one of my favorite stories ever. Had the author actually continued on in that vein and run with the obvious tension that they felt, it would have been a better book for it. Instead, she resorted to about a hundred pages of sex. Seriously, once they made it to England on the vacation that neither were aware the other was going on all they did was hook up. The plot took a major hit at that point and the rest of the book was alternating between them continuously making each other miserable, pondering sex with the other, or finally actually accomplishing the act. I don't like romance novels... not in the modern sense where all they do is sleep together. That's my mother's territory, really. My romance novels are true Austen works... with plots and without the graphic sex scenes. I get enough of that in movies... I don't want them in my literature too.

The only benefit... in my mind anyway... was that I got to picture Colin Firth naked a lot. As far as I'm concerned, he IS Fitzwilliam Darcy... or Mark Darcy if we're Bridget Jones-ing it at the moment. He's pretty much my favorite British actor aside from Alan Rickman (for entirely different reasons) and I just love him to pieces. The BBC edition of P&P is the only one I bother with even if it is six hours long... mostly because he's in it. The only thing that might have made it better is if Emma Thompson had played Elizabeth... but I'm getting off the point now. This was not a good novel... plain and simple. The dialogue was too contrived and the descriptions were repetitious. Angelini really could have used other adjectives here and there instead of seeing the same one two sentences down on the page. I found myself replacing some words with others that just would have made more sense or flowed better. It read like fanfiction of an NC-17 variety.

I think that I'll probably avoid most modernizations of Austen's work from now on. This is the first one that I've bothered with and it was a complete disappointment. I do have a book that focuses on Darcy's point of view during the events of P&P which I'll read pretty soon (I think), but if that's as bad I don't think I'll be reading anything based on Austen's novels again. They're simply too fantastic for me to suffer through them being ruined by the poor writing of someone that's just looking to make a few dollars.

Rating: 1.5/5