21. 'A Drink Before The War' - Dennis Lehane

What praises can I sing for Dennis Lehane that I haven't already done before? I think that it's safe to say that I'm legitimately obsessed with his books at this point. A Drink Before The War serves as an introduction to two of his most beloved characters, Patrick Kenzie and Angela Gennaro, and does a magnificent job at it. His ability to develop rich and interesting characters will never cease to amaze me, to be honest. This is especially evident in the character of Kenzie, whose point of view he follows throughout the entirety of the novel. This is a man with severe problems and the truth is that sometimes you're not sure if you just want to slap him for being an idiot or cuddle him like a scared little boy...

ummm yeah. can't finish whilst on the crew computer. peace. will be done tomorrow. =)

20. 'Why We Read What We Read' - Lisa Adams & John Heath

will be written tomorrow when i can go back and reference the book again.

19. 'Her Fearful Symmetry' - Audrey Niffenegger

I've come to the conclusion that I've gotten lazy when it comes to these reviews. I used to do a pretty decent job at providing my snobby little opinions, but finishing books on trips and not wanting to drag my laptop out of its cozy little bag hasn't helped my commentary at all. I'm hoping to remedy that with a lively discussion about this... gem.

Niffenegger must have been under pressure from her publishers to put out some kind of awesome follow-up to The Time Traveler's Wife or something because it's the only excuse that I can think of that would incite her to write something that's entirely unfinished. While the premises showed potential, it quickly became apparent that nothing was really going to happen in the four hundred pages contained within. Truthfully, the book is better to look at (because I seem to have a thing for spooky trees or something) than it is to read.

The novel follows the lives of twins, Julia and Valentina Poole, who inherit a flat in London (along with a bunch of money) from their aunt (their mother's twin sister) who recently died of cancer. The only catch is that they have to live there for a year before they can do anything at all with it. While it seems like a grand adventure for Julia, Valentina is decidedly more nervous about the prospect of leaving her home for uncharted territory. She follows along, however, because that's what she's been doing her entire life. She's like a shadow of her slightly older sister and that becomes a point that is majorly stressed throughout the remainder of the story.

Shortly after arriving in London, Julia meets their quirky upstairs neighbor, Martin, who suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder. Frankly, this makes him one of the more interesting characters throughout the tale and I constantly found myself wondering what kind of eccentric things were going on in his flat while Julia & Valentina carried on with their intensely dull existences. The girls eventually meet Robert Fanshaw, a quiet and bookish middle-aged man that was once the lover of their dearly departed relation. Robert proceeds to quickly (and unbelievably) fall in love with meek little Valentina (and the feeling seems to be mutual) which just creates more tension in the twins' already tottering relationship. Did I forget to mention that their aunt is kind of just hanging around the flat as a ghost? Because she is. And she accidentally discovers that she can pull souls out of bodies (RIP Kitten) which becomes a rather large point in the apparent climax of the novel. See, Valentina has been trying to find a way to escape from her sister... and rather than grow-up and actually stand up to Julia, she thinks it's just so much easier to die and then have her soul stuffed back into her body. It seems like a brilliant idea, right? Yeah, well never trust a ghost that's kind of pissed that you're dating her boyfriend.

We're meant to believe that Elspeth (the dead aunt) tried to stuff Val back where she belonged, but somehow I sincerely doubt that. The claim was made that Valentina just wasn't strong enough, but that doesn't explain how Kitten managed to come back from the grave once and she was just a cat for goodness sake. Please tell me how a person couldn't figure it out? I wish that were the low point of the book, but no. I think that comes in the form of discovering that Elspeth is really Edwina and the twin's mother. It was all just incredibly confusing and involved switching lives and all sorts of other bullshit that was just too tiresome to follow. Long story short, the twin's mother was the one that really died, but they never actually find that out. Only Robert and their father, Jack Poole, are privy to this super-secret knowledge. Fucking whatever, dude. I quit.

So, anyway, Elspeth (who is really Edie) takes over Valentina's body and gets herself knocked up with Robert's baby... then proceeds to drag him out to Sussex where she thinks that they'll live happily-ever-after. Val has become a ghost that spends all her time in the flat with Julia and the ghost of Kitten. So much for getting away from her sister, right? Well, she might not have been considered to be as clever as her dearly departed aunt (mother), but she definitely wins as a ghost since she actually finds a way to get the hell out of that little trap via her sister's mouth. She and Kitten meet some other ghosts, shrink, and go flying off on crows. Apparently that makes her happy. Good for you, weird little dead girl. Since... you know... you're never getting your body back and all.

Julia proceeds to start possibly dating Martin's son, Theo, while the best character in the book heads off to Amsterdam to go win back his wife, Marijke, who got the hell out of dodge when she finally couldn't take his intense OCD shit anymore. I'm glad Martin got away from the building and all it's drama... I really am. He was probably the most normal (and believable) character in the whole damned book. If anyone deserved a happy ending it was him for being so awesome.

So, when they make this into a movie... which they inevitably will since we all know the state of affairs in Hollywood these days... I think Eric Bana needs to be involved. I don't care if he plays Robert or Martin... as long as he's in there... since he's already done one Niffenegger adaptation. Another can't really hurt his career, right? I just want something pretty to look at if one of my roommates plans to subject me to this crap... which they will because most of them are suckers for shitty movies. Maybe Robert. I think he'd look kind of sexy with glasses and stalking through cemeteries. My pick for the twins? Dakota Fanning... since they're already described as looking like they're twelve anyway. At least it'd be a decent cast.

Rating: 2.5/5

18. 'The Lost Symbol' - Dan Brown

Oh Dan, you've done it again. Admittedly, I wasn't overly impressed with The Da Vinci Code as a follow-up to Angels & Demons, which I loved immediately, but such is life. The Lost Symbol more or less makes up for that, though. Mind you, that doesn't mean that it was perfect. It's so rare that I find a book that I could ever stick with that classification, but our man here has made one that certainly can hold it's own against any potential literary scrutiny. Maybe it doesn't hurt that I'm more or less in love with Robert Langdon and his nerdy charm (though in my world he looks decidedly less like Tom Hanks and more like Eric Bana, but that's beside the point, really). I'm a sucker for reading books about people far smarter than I could ever be.

At any rate, I sometimes have no problem going off on tangents about the plot that the novels I read follow, but in this case I'm going to abstain. The truth is that his books aren't ones that I'd like to ruin for anyone that might stumble upon this as they're far more popular than the fare I typical devour and review on here. I will say that there was one very glaring plot point that was far more predictable than I like (see the Deliverance Dane review for more rants on that subject), but Brown made up for it with richly developed characters and interesting insight into some of our nation's capitol's most beloved landmarks. I've got to give him credit. I was thinking of where to go on my next little mini-vacation and good old Dan made it very easy for me. After reading about all the fantastic things to see in Washington D.C., I've opted to go there again in the very near future... as in next weekend. I almost feel as if I should have read the book there... it could have served almost as a walking tour of the city.

So yeah, Brown writes another winner. Langdon is still awesome enough to be a gripping central character even if he is getting old and the new arrivals to the scene are intriguing enough to not leave you bored and wishing for a few more returning cast members. I can guarantee I'll be thinking of my version of him (click here if you need a visual aid) as I wander by the Washington Monument next Monday. Sorry to disappoint when it comes to this review, but this is a book I think you'd be better off reading for yourself.

P.S. There's no need to read the prior two Langdon adventures to understand this one. They're both barely referenced and point to nothing that cannot be easily Googled if desired.

Rating: 4/5

17. 'The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane' - Katherine Howe

Not going to lie... I grabbed this at the library on a whim. I already had a handful on me but the book jacket just made the novel look appealing and I had to have it. I managed to devour it rather quickly, though it wasn't necessarily because it was just that fantastic. The truth is that Howe's debut novel is actually kind of predictable which is one thing that I absolutely tend to detest about literature. I'd rather have a movie be that brand of disappointing than a novel. After all, I did just invest a good portion of a weekend (or more) on hundreds of pages... is it wrong to want to be satisfied?

Don't get me wrong, the book did have its good points. Several of the characters were actually very engaging and I was incredibly fond of Grace Goodwin, the unseen but oft consulted mother of the main character. Maybe I just like hippie throwbacks and wish that it was possible for me to live that kind of lifestyle at the moment. Who can really say? She was honestly a bit more intriguing than Connie herself, though perhaps it's because less is known about her than the main character. I like the degree of mystery involved, I suppose.

The problem that I did have with the book, aside from a lackluster ending, was simply that it didn't exactly take a brain surgeon (or more than a quarter of the novel) to realize that there was going to be a very important connection to the seemingly random key and slip of paper that Connie finds upon perusing her grandmother's bookshelves for the first time to the girl doing the exploring. I mean, really? Finding it in the house on like... day one... doesn't make that entire situation blatantly obvious or anything. I guess I would have liked to have been forced to think a little bit more. I like plots with a bit more intricacy than Howe's manages to possess. I'm not sorry that I read it. I like the idea that perhaps the fear of magic being performed in Salem back in the day actually had a hint of reality to it, but there were better directions the plot could have taken to have gotten us to a memorable conclusion... because frankly, there wasn't much of one. It's only been a week and a half since I read it and already it's a little bit faded. Alas. I guess I really am getting old.

Rating: 3/5

16. 'Coronado' - Dennis Lehane

I find it incredibly difficult to be disappointed with anything that Dennis Lehane writes. I'm not going to lie and say that I've read all of his books yet because that would be pointless. The truth is that I haven't... have only finished two... but if the rest are anything like the ones that I HAVE sat through, they're nothing short of fantastic views into the lives of people that genuinely could exist somewhere in the world. Coronado, a group of short stories, could not lose my attention no matter how many outside forces attempted work against me in the short time that I read it. I found myself wanting to get done work on my flights as quickly as possible just to devour the next story in line because they each provided little pictures into some of the darkest moments of the characters' lives.

There is nothing happy about this book. Lehane talks a lot about hope from the various points-of-view of the characters, but the truth is that most have nothing left to hope for. Their loves are gone or their lives as they knew it are entirely over. It starts with the tragedy of Elgin Bern and the war and death that would tear all the women he loved (or might have) away from him. From there the novel moved on through several other people and tragedies until it reached Coronado, a play that elaborates on the lives of two characters in Until Gwen and throws a few others into the mix. It, of course, is equally as tragic. This is not the kind of novel that you read to feel good about yourself or your life. It's the kind that shows you just how horrible people can be to each other and that there is nothing that some people won't do to get what they want. It's the truth about humanity... cold and bitter, but beautifully written in a way that few can master.

It's unlikely that I'll ever have much to say that's not even remotely positive about Lehane's writing. He truly has become one of my favorite authors already and I'm looking forward to starting the Kenzie/Gennaro series when I pick up the first one from the library tomorrow. I'll keep the blog posted on how much I adore this man and his works... I promise.

Rating: 4/5

15. 'The Trials of the Honorable F. Darcy' - Sara Angelini

So, one day a tiny brunette walks into the library and stumbles around with her arms laden with books. Overflowing would perhaps be the best term for it. Her eyes are caught by a brightly colored book on a table by the library desk... because she's kind of like a ferret... in that she's attracted to shiny things anyway... and she sees that there's a book claiming to be a modern Pride & Prejudice sitting on the stand. Though she feels like a horrendous nerd, she rushes over and snatches up a copy because Jane Austen might just be one of her favorite authors ever. She starts the book while flying around the better part of the northeastern United States only to discover that she's basically picked up a porn novel. Yes, she's just read Snuff, but this is something else entirely. Snuff, for being about the porn industry, didn't go into nearly as many details as this waste of trees. Yeah, that's right... she said it. WASTE OF TREES.

All right, so I guess my little picture of a day in the life of Kristi wasn't entirely necessary... or that interesting... but to say that I wasn't pleased to discover that the book I had invested several hours in turned out to be much less than I expected. The beginning showed promise. Had it not, I would have stopped reading it a lot sooner than when I finally considered that option. The premises... Darcy as a judge and Lizzy Bennett as a lawyer was an interesting way to modernize one of my favorite stories ever. Had the author actually continued on in that vein and run with the obvious tension that they felt, it would have been a better book for it. Instead, she resorted to about a hundred pages of sex. Seriously, once they made it to England on the vacation that neither were aware the other was going on all they did was hook up. The plot took a major hit at that point and the rest of the book was alternating between them continuously making each other miserable, pondering sex with the other, or finally actually accomplishing the act. I don't like romance novels... not in the modern sense where all they do is sleep together. That's my mother's territory, really. My romance novels are true Austen works... with plots and without the graphic sex scenes. I get enough of that in movies... I don't want them in my literature too.

The only benefit... in my mind anyway... was that I got to picture Colin Firth naked a lot. As far as I'm concerned, he IS Fitzwilliam Darcy... or Mark Darcy if we're Bridget Jones-ing it at the moment. He's pretty much my favorite British actor aside from Alan Rickman (for entirely different reasons) and I just love him to pieces. The BBC edition of P&P is the only one I bother with even if it is six hours long... mostly because he's in it. The only thing that might have made it better is if Emma Thompson had played Elizabeth... but I'm getting off the point now. This was not a good novel... plain and simple. The dialogue was too contrived and the descriptions were repetitious. Angelini really could have used other adjectives here and there instead of seeing the same one two sentences down on the page. I found myself replacing some words with others that just would have made more sense or flowed better. It read like fanfiction of an NC-17 variety.

I think that I'll probably avoid most modernizations of Austen's work from now on. This is the first one that I've bothered with and it was a complete disappointment. I do have a book that focuses on Darcy's point of view during the events of P&P which I'll read pretty soon (I think), but if that's as bad I don't think I'll be reading anything based on Austen's novels again. They're simply too fantastic for me to suffer through them being ruined by the poor writing of someone that's just looking to make a few dollars.

Rating: 1.5/5

14. 'The Time Traveler's Wife' - Audrey Niffenegger

Though I'm very well accustomed to books that change voices off and on throughout its entirety,The Time Traveler's Wife definitely took some time for me to adjusted. I think that it was the fact that it changed back and forth between Henry and Clare's point-of-views ever few paragraphs at times while in other sections it would carry on with one or the other for a pretty extended amount of time. Once I was able to work through the issue of getting a feel for the individual character's thoughts and emotions, this was actually a pretty enjoyable read. The overall plot was just beautifully tragic. To have found such an intense love and to have nourished it through almost a decade and a half of stolen moments before the true relationship could begin is almost heartbreaking. It's hard to imagine knowing very well that you're going to go months and then even years without seeing the person that you love and then to finally meet up with them in the present only to discover that they haven't a clue as to who you are was almost a painful thing to read. I do think I would have been a little more impressed with Henry had they not ended up sleeping together on the first date... but what can you do? It's better than the next book I read, anyway.

It's all just a very sad affair throughout... whether it was when they were trying to conceive a child with continuously devastating consequences or the moment when Henry realized that his time was almost up, this is a love story that actually kept me glued to it wondering how it all would end when his obvious demise was inching closer on the horizon. It was made very clear through the majority of the novel that Clare had never seen Henry beyond about his early forties... so you were left watching the years tick by at the top of each header and wondering if perhaps the doctor had finally found a cure for him... hoping that it's true... because you don't want Henry to die. It's hard not to fall in love with him yourself as you're reading through his trials and adventures shifting back and forth between the now and the then and occasionally even the later.

Though it was rough starting out because of the differences between this and everything else that I've read lately, I'm glad that I followed through on this recommendation. Niffenegger painted a beautiful picture of how love truly can conquer all sometimes... whether it's life, death, or something in between. I'm usually not one for romances, but this is one that I would actually encourage others to read. Just don't substitute watching the movie for experiencing the book. It's one of the few films that just feels too short for all that it should have covered... too many important things were left out... and I found myself barely paying attention to the screen as I continued thumbing through the pages of the actual novel instead. The only benefit? Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams are just gorgeous. Feel free to wrinkle your nose at Gomez, though. Apparently it was too hard for them to find a blonde actor in the world willing to play the part.

Rating: 4/5

13. 'Snuff' - Chuck Palahniuk

Okay, so this book wasn't exactly what I thought it would be, but it was pretty close. It's about the porn industry and one woman's quest to beat the record number of sex acts in a single session. So, there are 599 dudes just chilling out waiting to have sex with this woman... plus one that thinks he's the sex goddess's long lost son. Him? He's there to save her. The truth eventually comes out, though... because it turns out that her long lost son is actually a daughter... the woman that signed her on to the project that was supposed to end in her demise in the first place. Cassie, said porn star, knew all along.

I'm not going to do a synopsis because there's really no point. Nothing incredibly noteworthy happened because the book is really about the character development and if you want to know what happens just read the book yourself. It's not like it's hard. I finished in in the span of two days and only because I didn't start it until late in the evening. Palahniuk's novel is more of a short story than an actual book and is easy to devour all at once.

Truthfully, I have no strong feelings about this either way. It is what it is and it didn't bother pretending to be anything different. All I can say is that it's hard not to like some of the characters, though it's equally difficult to feel close to any of them since most are rarely referred to by name if they ever are at all... and even the ones that are... their names are stage names, so you never truly get to know any of them beyond the facade that they put on. I want to read Fight Club and maybe Choke, but aside from that, I really have little interest in exploring any of Palahniuk's other works.

Rating: 2.5/5

12. 'The Woods' - Harlan Coben

This is another one that was borrowed from the roommate library. I'm considerably more pleased with this decision than I was with the previous one, however. Coben is actually a very good author, if this book can be an accurate method by which to judge him, and his characters are far more compelling and interesting than some others I've run into recently. Spoilers follow... as usual.

See, Paul Copeland has been living a lie without even realizing it. Sure, so he knew that he lied about the fact that he was on guard the night that his sister and three of their friends were supposedly murdered. He lied about the fact that he was alone instead of with Lucy Silverstein, the daughter of the camp owner. He didn't realize, however, that almost everything was a lie. His sister wasn't really dead. His father killed his mother. His former girlfriend was sort of an accessory to murder. His life pretty much sucks. The only thing he has going for him is his daughter and the fact that he's kind of a rocking prosecutor.

Right, so that's really not much of a synopsis, but I neither have the time nor wish to make the effort to say much more. It was actually a very good book and I really enjoyed it, but I've just written three other reviews and I'm way too tired to care. I'll write more later. I swear. I really will.

Rating: 4.5/5

11. 'Dear John' - Nicholas Sparks

I hate Nicholas Sparks books. That's the most important statement that I can make at this moment. I hate his books with a passion and I really am not entirely sure why I bother to read them in the first place. A Walk to Remember I polished off in the span of a few hours at work one day. Dear John really wasn't any better. I have a very hard time enjoying books that don't require any thought to get into them. That's the experience that I had as far as this particular novel goes.

It tells the story of a young man that returns from leave in the Army one summer and meets a beautiful college student that he immediately falls madly in love with. Lo and behold, she falls head over heels for him too and the pair swear that they're going to get married someday and live happily ever after. Then, a number of obstacles throw themselves in the mix... including his father's heart attack and the fact that he reupped when the events of September 11th occurred. So, rather than be the steadfast rock in John's turbulent sea, Savannah ends up falling in love and eventually marrying her childhood friend and neighbor, Tim.

Some other stuff happens here and there, but none of it is truly that important and none of it could possibly make you like such shallow and ill-conceived characters. Savannah, borrowing a term from fanfiction circles, is the worst kind of Mary-Sue imaginable. She's pretty, perfect, and perky... oh yeah... and she was almost raped which is only one of the most overused plot devices in the world. Yes, I realize that it happens a lot. Yes, it has happened to people that I know. No, I do not think that it makes it acceptable to throw into any drama involving college students just to cause tension and make the main characters' 'first time' seem more interesting, heart-wrenching and/or magical. John, himself, was just boring. His father was infinitely more endearing and I was actually happy that Savannah ended up marrying Tim in the end. Though... go figure... she still thought about cheating on her poor husband while he's in the hospital dying of cancer. I know this shit happens, but I just don't know how I feel about seeing that much stereotypical role-playing website drama thrown into one book that's supposed to be a bestseller.

I'm sure romance fans across the world would burn me at the stake if anyone but my sister actually read this, but seriously... I hated it. I will never read anything by Sparks again... and I would gladly burn it if it were mine to do as I pleased with. Sadly, this waste of paper belongs to my roommate, so back to her shelf it must go.

2 out of 5 stars

10. 'Flashforward' - Robert J. Sawyer

To be entirely honest, I have very little to say about Flashforward. It was a relatively quick read, though I had a very difficult time staying interested in it. I was never interested in science while I was in school... didn't even bother taking physics since my high school offered me the opportunity to take college biology instead and that might have hindered my ability to actually understand Sawyer's work. I generally adore sci-fi... but in this case, there was just too much sci going on for me to stay involved.

There were some interesting characters, so I'll give him that much. I really found myself worrying about the fate of Theo, the younger lab assistant that helped to bring about the phenomena in the first place. He didn't receive a vision and then discovered that he was going to be murdered... so I spent the better portion of the book wondering if he was going to find a way to save himself. I didn't truly care about any of the other characters which tends to be a problem when you're reading fiction. The story just didn't stay with me. Generally, my memory tends to be exceptional when it comes to things that I've read, but I just didn't care enough to bother committing any of it to mind. I've heard the television show is decent and very loosely based on the novel, so I might give that a chance. I'd actually prefer a little mystery since it was all explained a little too quickly for my taste... and it was hard to be interested in mysteries that were going to span two decades anyway. I like the neat little six month package the television show offers.

It's a quick read overall, but nothing that I would actually recommend. There are better sci-fi novels out there to spend time on. Thankfully, this was just a library rental anyway.

Rating: 2.5/5

9. 'Their Eyes Were Watching God' - Zora Neale Hurston

There are very few books that I can claim made much of an impact on my life. It seems that there is an incredible lack of quality literature these days... sure, there are plenty of things to read, but how much of it will you really take away with you? This is the reason why I was so moved by Hurston's novel.

Their Eyes Were Watching God tells the story of Janie Crawford, initially a young woman who is simply trying to discover her path in the world. She is forced into marrying someone she doesn't love by her grandmother, the woman who raised her. Their marriage, however, was absolutely not built to last and Janie ends up running off with someone that meets and woos her with the promise of a new life away from all that she has known. She runs off and marries him and lives the next twenty years in a town that he more or less builds from the ground up. She's a middle-aged woman by the time she meets 'Tea Cake'. Despite the fact that he's considerably younger than her, the two fall in love and she moves down to the Everglades with him. Over the span of their marriage, Janie learns more about love and life than in all the years before. More importantly, she learns that despite what people might say, love knows no boundaries.

The book itself, in some places, seems like absolute poetry. The manner in which Hurston describes the world before Janie's eyes is beautiful and lyrical, something that is so rare to find in most novels these days. She makes me feel like perhaps it is, in fact, all right for me to love, in a most ridiculous way, someone that others deem entirely wrong for me. Hurston makes me feel like perhaps I might not be making a mistake in feeling so strongly about a person that is a little unorthodox. Enough reflection has since made it obvious to me that despite Hurston's words, there are some things that while I would love to justify them, cannot be so easily disregarded. Some relationships are simply not meant to last. Some men are not meant to be a part of youre life no matter how you feel about them. It doesn't mean that you cannot wish and long for something better for yourself when it seems that nothing is in your favor. Her novel gave me the gift of hope... hope for something dazzling in my future like the love that she felt for her last husband... or the happiness that simply being alone can provide.

There were so many things that I wanted to say about this and I wish that I wouldn't have waited so long to review it. I'll include more thoughts as they come, but all in all, I have to say that I would absolutely recommend this book to any woman that I know. Men... not so much.

Rating: 4/5

8. '2001: A Space Odyssey' - Arthur C. Clarke

So, I totally picked this book up on a whim. I think I was actually looking for a book by Douglas Adams when I stumbled upon the 'C's instead. I'd heard of the movie, but never seen it, so I figured why not pick up the book? I already had an armful and it looked like it would be a pretty quick read. While this turned out to be the case, it doesn't make the book any less enjoyable.

TO BE CONTINUED WHEN I'M NOT UNCONSCIOUS, THANKS.

Rating: 4/5

7. 'Under the Dome' - Stephen King

The first thing that I have to say about this book is that it's long. Truthfully, I think that at almost 1,100 pages, it's longer than all the other ones that I've read this year combined. With that being said, it doesn't actually feel that way. I've been told that Stephen King has gotten difficult to read with time because most of his books seem incredibly formulaic. One of my co-workers told me that he can typically guess what the next line is going to be before he actually reads it. I don't know if that's the case with Under the Dome because I would never claim to be a loyal King fan. As a matter of fact, I think I've only read two of his other novels in the past and one barely counts since it's technically a short story. Perhaps that influenced how much I enjoyed this book and perhaps it didn't. It's hard to say, but either way, I do think that it was mostly worth the effort put in to reading it.

The basics of the book involve the quiet little town of Chester's Mill, Maine and the trials and tribulations of the populace within when a massive dome inexplicably drops down from the sky and cuts them off from the rest of the world. It does not take long at all for their lives to change completely when the Chief of Police is killed upon his arrival at the newly formed barrier and chaos ensues with the takeover of Big Jim Rennie, the true villain of the novel. While it closely follows the lives of many of the town's residents at one point or another, a good deal of focus is placed on Dale 'Barbie' Barbara, a former member of the United States military that was attempting to abandon the Mill after a run-in with the local gang of worthless degenerates. The problem is that it gives you enough face time with the other locals to make you ache just a little inside when another one bites the dust.

Let me promise you, there will be a lot of dust biting involved in this read. In fact, by the end of the book, the town population will have gone from several thousand to just about twenty-five. While many die in the first few hours of the dome's existence, more are murdered here and there throughout the novel. It seems that when the threat of punishment disappears, the truth of human nature becomes entirely evident. That truth? There's a little piece inside all of us that is inclined to cruelty and it seems that only the moral codes of society are holding the majority of us back from turning into heathens once again. It happened to a good portion of the town, it seems, with volunteers to join the police force that would eventually become Big Jim's personal army.

I think the death that honestly effected me the most, even if it likely wasn't meant to, was that of Carolyn 'Caro' Sturges. I don't know if it was the penchant for older men that she and I both seem to share or if it was just the fact that she seemed so purely full of hope for her future when everything around her was falling apart, but to witness her being shot in the head while protecting one of the children she had taken in was just a painful experience. She was such a minor character, but I think I saw enough of myself in her to feel like it was just unfair. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her older lover, Thurston Marshall, and the two children that she had become a temporary mother to. Then to have two of the remaining three in the makeshift family die just before the dome lifted seemed to add even more to the little tragedy. That's the only word that can truly be used to describe the majority of this novel... tragic. There just too many senseless deaths and yet it all seems fitting and makes sense. It needed to happen because this is a comment on the state of the world and there's nothing truer than the fact that too many people have been dying for nothing in the past ten years.

The only complaint that I have is that it ended too abruptly. I usually hate epilogues, but after spending over a thousand pages getting to know these characters and developing attachments, I was not satisfied with the fact that the book concluded just about three pages after the dome was finally dragged off into the sky by whatever force (the leatherheads... whomever they might be) that had placed it there in the first place. Sure, I wanted to know what happened between Barbie and Julia once they were no longer trapped together... did their relationship continue or did they go their separate ways to avoid the painful memories of what had happened while they were being played with by children from another world? More importantly, I want to know what happened to Ollie Dinsmore, the little boy who lost his brother to an accident and both his parents to suicide in the span of a week. The little boy that buried himself in the potato cellar with his grandfather's oxygen tanks and befriended the Army private from South Carolina that called him 'cow-kid'. Did he have other relatives to live with or did Private Ames take him in afterward? I think I'd like the latter better. The unquestionable love that seemed to be present between the two... the fact that Private Ames refused to leave the side of the dome when they discovered that the boy was still alive... that he wanted to be the last one there if Ollie did finally pass away... it was just one of the most touching sections of the book and the only part that came close to moving me to tears.

So, there are parts that I question and things that I would have liked to see more of, but overall, I actually did enjoy this experience. I felt a little rushed reading it since I have to turn it back in to the library by the fifth and all... but I'm not sure that more time would have necessarily changed my feelings. It was easy to absorb and follow, despite the length, and it was hard to forget what had already occurred, likely because of the intensity of the descriptions, despite the fact that I was reading another book simultaneously. Just don't read parts of it while you're eating. Some of the deaths are very vividly described and if your stomach is weaker than mine, you might be in for a little surprise.

Rating: 3.5/5

6. 'The Road' - Cormac McCarthy

This is another one of those books that I felt like I should have enjoyed because it seems to be so astronomically popular. I just couldn't really bring myself to, though. The problem that I ran into with this book is that while it is incredibly descriptive, the plot just doesn't catch my attention. It just seems so drawn out when, truthfully, very little really happened. They wanted to get to the coast. So, they started walking down a very well depicted ashy road. They ran out of food. They found food. They ran out of food. They found a bunker full of food. They ran out of food. They found a boat with food. They started to run out of food... and the dad died. So, what happened to the boy? Oh, well, it turns out that they were being followed... by a friendly band of wanderers (for a change) and so he's going to go off with them and be just ducky... or so it's presumed. The ending was just as anticlimactic as the rest of the novel. It just seemed too bland for a book that was plagued with that problem throughout its entirety.

I think that part of my problem with this might be that I can't truly understand the bond of unconditional love that is found between a parent and their child. Having no children of my own, it's hard to imagine feeling so strongly about someone that you would give your life for them readily. That's a huge part of this novel which didn't really come as a surprise since I expected it when I read the description of the book.

So, yeah. His writing is beautiful, in a way. I can't stand the fact that he uses punctuation very sparingly, but I guess it fits the tone of the book somehow. It's just too difficult for me, as someone that adores proper grammar and spelling, to read without having to pause and take stock of what I just attempted to absorb on a pretty regular basis. It took too much effort for a book that really has nothing in terms of length about it. At least... it definitely doesn't compared to the other book I'm working on right now... Under the Dome... which is huge.

All in all, I guess I'm kind of glad that I read the book only so that I can check it off my list of post-apocalyptic fiction that I needed to read. Typically, that's my favorite genre. I can't help that I didn't like this one, though. I've just read things that are far better written and actually told a story rather than just threw a whole bunch of adjectives together to form some sentences. And I use the term 'sentences' loosely, since some consisted of two works... that didn't even form a complete idea... yet the period was there. Oh well.

Rating: 1/5

5. 'Shutter Island' - Dennis Lehane

It took me a little while to finish this book. It's entirely my own fault for it, though, because I didn't give it enough of a chance. The first fifty or so pages were kind of slow, but the pace definitely picked up as time passed. While I set it down to start Under The Dome, I sincerely wish that I wouldn't have. Once it picked up, the book was too fabulous to put down. The rest of this little review is going to feature specific plot details. Don't read it if you want to enjoy the book itself. I would recommend that... believe me... because it's a fabulous novel. If you want it to be ruined, then by all means please continue. I've got nothing bad to say about it... not really... so take that into consideration.

This book is about a US Marshal that is sent to investigate a situation involving an escaped mental patient on Shutter Island. At least, that's what one is made to believe. Teddy Daniels and his new partner, Chuck Aule, are the marshals that arrive just before a massive hurricane the shuts the island down completely. The novel follows the next four days of their lives on the rock as they try to uncover the truth behind the mysterious disappearance of Rachel Solando, a patient that murdered her three children after her husband was killed during the war.. Slowly, Teddy begins to reveal pieces of his past to his new colleague, including the fact that the man who set the fire which killed his wife, Dolores, in their former apartment complex, Andrew Laeddis, is also housed at the facility. Teddy, it seems, is on a quest to avenge his wife's murder and while investigating Rachel, he also attempts to find Laeddis.

Several plots and sketchy plans later, Chuck goes missing and Teddy finds the missing Rachel. Apparently, she's actually a doctor on the island that decided she's not exactly down for the weird experiments that they're supposedly conducting. She goes off about ghost people with no memories or lives of their own which is all very convincing to our Agent Teddy. He's about to escape when he decides that he just can't leave his partner to suffer that fate... so he goes off in search of him at the lighthouse that has been the one place he's wanted to investigate but couldn't. He gets there with little difficulty and it turns out that there's a very good reason why. Teddy is actually Andrew Laeddis, and the house fire that forced them to leave their apartment was started by his very mentally unstable wife. The three children that Rachel killed? It was his wife that killed their three children. He's actually a patient at the hospital and they're trying a radical roleplaying therapy to try to get him to face up to the fact that he killed his wife in retribution just after he discovered the bodies of the children floating in the lake behind their house. He failed his family and it was that which he couldn't handle. It caused his psychotic break... and that partner that went missing? It's actually his doctor. The therapy worked... for all of maybe five pages. The book ends with him sitting on the step outside with Chuck, wondering if they've caught on to what they're doing. Chuck just waves the other doctor and group of orderlies over...

I usually don't do plot summaries. I actually tend to hate them, but there was no way to talk about my reaction to the book without completely ruining the ending. So much of the story is the ending. Honestly, I wanted to go back immediately and read it all again to pick out the little clues. Truthfully, they were kind of obvious in spots, but I never picked up on them because it's not exactly what I would have expected. I guess I wasn't entirely shocked because the dreams that Teddy had throughout his time on the island kind of hinted toward this. I really wasn't sure that I wanted to believe that Lehane had went there... because I genuinely liked Teddy. I wanted him to not be crazy because he seemed like such a likable guy in his own way. The same went with Chuck, of course, and to find out that the two characters that you adored throughout the book weren't even real is kind of disheartening. I think that's what the author was going for, though... he wanted you to be dumbfounded that he would completely throw everything we knew out the window in the last act. I think he wanted you to like them so that he could torture you when you discover that they're not really there.

This book is one of my new favorites. Now, I guarantee that I'll read it again, but probably only once to pick up on all the little hints that the author gives us throughout the novel. After that, I doubt that I'll touch it again. It's a fabulous piece of psychological literature, but the problem is that the magic is gone. Knowing the ending makes the idea of the journey a far more disappointing one... because really, what's the point in traveling if you know precisely where you're going to end up all the time? There's no adventure in it and without adventure there's no point. Perhaps I'll write more on the subject later, but for the time being this is all.

Rating: 5/5

4. 'The Princess Bride' - William Goldman

Frankly, I rarely expect to like a movie better than I like the book. In the case of The Princess Bride, however, I have to make an exception. The book was great. There's absolutely no denying the fact that Goldman's 'abridged' novel was kind of a genius marketing technique. I'm wondering how many people were convinced there really was a longer edition and sought it out. I'm straying from the point, though, since the point is to talk about the book itself. I liked it. I really really did. I more or less expected to since the movie is one of my absolute favorites in the world.

It follows the story of the love between Buttercup and the hired help at her family's farm, Westley. It takes an incredibly long amount of time for the former to realize how she adores the latter, but once she finally does she is heartbroken when he informs her that he is leaving. His intent is to build a life for them so that he can return to her and give her all that she deserves. Unfortunately, she is mistakenly informed that he is killed by the Dread Pirate Roberts and thus begins her journey to the throne as she is drawn in by the nefarious Prince Humperdink. A kidnapping ensues and she discovers that Westley is not, in fact, dead... though he is under the impression that her love was far from true. She abandons him with the expectation that he'll be fine though that's too far from the truth to even be imaginable.

I have no intention of doing a full plot summary because frankly it's just easier to point everyone to the movie. It'll take you under two hours and really is worth it in the long run. I'm just glad that this book was an easy read because I'm not sure I would have enjoyed it as much if it hadn't been. The truth is that I just didn't like Buttercup in the novel. She's childish and a little bit immature, which I understand is actually quite typical for teenage girls... but as she grows up it really should change... and yet it doesn't. Her apparent love for Westley seems like nothing more than a schoolgirl crush in the beginning and is only a little bit more convincing in the end. I don't know that I've ever liked a movie more than a book in the past, but here is at least one example of how excellent acting abilities can bring to life characters that just don't work well on the page. That's exactly what I think of Buttercup, anyway.

Rating: 3.5/5

3. 'The Catcher in the Rye' - J.D. Salinger

I'm going to be absolutely honest. I know that everybody and their brother lists this book as being the one that changed their life, but I feel like I maybe read this a little too late. I wanted to like it because from what I understood (or at least from what everyone I know has said) it was a brilliant piece of literature. That might have been the case if I had read it as a teenager when the problems that Holden Caulfield faced seemed a little more relevant... but I didn't. I read it as an adult and the only thing that I could think as I did so was that I wanted to knock him upside the head with something heavy. Preferably a frying pan since anyone who knows me and my literary obsessions will recall my love for Lord of the Rings' Sam Gamgee... but that's beside the point. The point is, Caulfield did nothing but annoy me for page after page of repetitive, endless whining.

So, semi-long story short, this book is about a seventeen year-old boy that has managed to flunk out of several different schools and is currently getting kicked out of another. He whines to his roommate, gets into fights, and then leaves in the middle of the night for New York City. He goes to a hotel, hires a prostitute that he can't end up sleeping with, gets beaten up, and then whines some more. Oh, then he drinks a bunch, goes on a date that ends horribly, whines some more, and then potentially gets assaulted by his former teacher. All the while, he's plotting his escape... because we all know that running away is the best answer when you get pissed off. Did I mention that he drones on endlessly about how much he hates everyone? Because there's some of that, too. Maybe a few other things happen, but I think this more or less covers the basics.

Truthfully, this book made me never want to hear the word 'phony' again. Everything seemed to be phony, but the truth (in my opinion anyway) is that Caulfield was the most phony individual of the bunch. I'm sorry, but there's no way for any teenager to be that fucking cynical. They haven't had the life experience to make them hate existence as much as any adult I know. I guess I just don't have the patience for that degree of melodrama. My life has been fucked up and you don't find me bitching about it to anyone that'll listen. Ok... maybe that's not entirely true, but I can't possibly be as obnoxious as Caulfield tends to be. At least I know when to stop. So, he spends the entirety of the novel complaining about how phony everyone else is without ever pausing to take stock of just what kind of impression he's making on the world. His disaffected attitude toward society as a whole is not fooling anyone. They all know he's just a scared, miserable little child. It's just too bad he didn't realize it sooner.

I'm not entirely sure what I was supposed to take from this book. Maybe the point was missed on me because I'm not a seventeen year-old boy... or a seventeen year-old in general. Maybe I didn't get it because experience has taught me that depression happens but it doesn't necessarily mean you have to drink yourself into a stupor and moan to anyone who'll listen to manage it... and that it's not possible to hate everyone that you meet because almost all of them have at least one redeeming quality that makes their existence worth your acknowledgment.
Rating: 1/5

2. 'To Kill A Mockingbird' - Harper Lee

I can understand why so many people feel the need to read this book. Atticus Finch might very well be one of the greatest characters ever brought to life. The truth is that I rarely find anything worth five stars in my eyes, but that's how I felt while I was reading Mockingbird. The story surrounds the lives of one Southern family...

Rating: 5/5

1. 'Nightlight' - The Harvard Lampoon

This might just be one of the best books I've read in ages. In truth, it has absolutely no literary value whatsoever. I didn't learn a single thing from it nor take away any little gem that will forever influence my life. Why did I enjoy it so much, then? Because it was absolute crap.

I know what you're thinking... that statement makes no sense, right? Wrong. See, the reason why I loved it so much is that it knows it's awful. It was meant to be and there are absolutely no surprises to be found in that fact. The book that it mocks, Twilight, is worshiped by millions of teenagers and adults alike and yet it's complete and utter rubbish. The fact of the matter is that it blatantly condones abusive relationships and makes them seem glamorous. I mean, after all, who wouldn't put up with some verbal abuse if their glittering, superhuman boyfriend made his demands in soft, flowing language and apparently looked like Robert Pattinson?

Okay, so that wouldn't do anything for me... but I also don't think that Robert Pattinson is even remotely attractive. This, however, is not meant to be a post to bash the series... even if it does suck. It's supposed to be about the benefits, or lack thereof depending on how you look at it, of reading Nightlight. See, the truth is that there really aren't any. Like I said before, you're not going to take a damn thing away from this book but a stitch in your side from laughing through half of it. It's funny, incredibly so, in that it does a perfect job of making fun of everything about the series that makes it so awful. The abusive relationship, the cult following the subpar movie cast has gained, and the absolute shallowness of Belle's thoughts are all dead on. And I had tons of other awesome things that I wanted to say about all this, but I'm in the crew room at work and they tend to frown upon dictating to yourself what you're typing... and I lose track of things too easily.

The one thing I can say is that, yes, I've read the Twilight books. I wasted days of my life that I can never get back on that poor excuse of Anne Rice and/or Charlaine Harris fanfiction. I hated Edward and Jacob pretty much equally... in Edward's case because he was just too over-the-top perfect and Jacob because he was a whiny, obnoxious puppy. That being said, I loved Edwart Mullen. He was the absolute opposite of everything that any girl who reads and loves Twilight would want in a man... and I think that's precisely why I was so fond of him. After all, being a huge nerd myself, why would I not want a boy that builds websites as a hobby and plays video games like it's his job? Aside from the fact that I probably could have beat him up, he's fucking amazing. It makes me incredibly sad, however, that the perfect literary man for me can only be found in a parody of one of the worst book series I've ever read.

So, yeah. If you're looking for a book that will only take about three hours to read... maybe less if you actually have time to sit down for more than five minutes at a time... and you're not a Stephenie Meyer fan, this might just be the perfect read for you. It's a snack as far as literature goes, but it's like a pie in that way... it's a guilty pleasure that you might actually be glad you actually indulged in. Also, I noticed it makes you want to eat apples... a lot. Mostly because the book has about six on them between the front and back covers, so maybe there is at least one benefit to the book after all.

Rating: 3.5/5

the 50 book challenge list

I found a post on the Facebook group Reading is Sexy that talked about challenging yourself to complete fifty books in 365 days. It's a new year and what better time to start something like this than January? So, therefore this post has been designed to keep a running list of the books that I've read to accomplish this goal. The books will receive reviews, of course, but I like to have one concrete list that's easily referenced. Anything in progress is in italics. If I happen to read more than 50... so be it, I guess.

January 2010
01. Nightlight - The Harvard Lampoon

- I did horrible in January. Here's hoping February is better.

February 2010
02. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
03. The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
04. The Princess Bride - William Goldman
05. Shutter Island - Dennis Lehane
06. The Road - Cormac McCarthy

March 2010
07. Under the Dome - Stephen King
08. 2001: A Space Odyssey - Arthur C. Clarke
09. Their Eyes Were Watching God - Zora Neale Hurston
10. Flashforward - Robert J. Sawyer
11. Dear John - Nicholas Sparks
12. The Woods - Harlan Coben
13. Snuff - Chuck Palahniuk
14. The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
15. The Trials of the Honorable F. Darcy - Sara Angelini
16. Coronado - Dennis Lehane
17. The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane - Katherine Howe

April 2010
18. The Lost Symbol - Dan Brown
19. Her Fearful Symmetry - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Why We Read What We Read - Lisa Adams & John Heath
21. A Drink Before The War - Dennis Lehane
22. Wizard's First Rule - Terry Goodkind
23. FDR - Jean Edward Smith